I Am Lost

I am lost.

I have God.  I have Jesus.  But, maybe I'm not listening.  I feel He's leading me to be a writer.  I prayed and then Stumble Uponed a website about freelance writing.  I do feel God is telling me I do need to be a writer.  I need to write.  I love to write.

You can't just jump into being a freelance writer.  No experience and you aren't going to get the jobs.  No jobs and you can't get experience.  I can't get anything because I have no experience and I can't get experience because I can't get anything.

It's only been a week.  I need to be patient.  I get that.  Honestly, I'm just lost.  I don't know what I'm qualified for.  I don't know where I belong really.  I'm a newbie in this world.

Eventually, I want to have a book published.  I've started preliminary work on a piece of middle grade fiction.  But, until then (I have a feeling it's going to be a long time til then) I need to find other ways to make money.  I can write and I can edit.  But, again, sounding like a broken record, since I've only ever done any of that professionally one time and have nothing to give as an example for it, I've got nothing.

Nothing.

And I feel I'm going to go nowhere.

I cannot despair.  I can't let this get me down.  I have to persevere.  That's the hard part.  I have to work through the hard times to get to the good times.  I have to keep at it.  Keep sending in those applications.  Keep finding places that need writers and/or editors.  Write my own stuff.  Build a portfolio.  Build me.

I don't know what's going to come of this.  I don't exactly have all the time in the world to find out.

I do know God is here to help me.  I stressed out pretty harshly on Sunday but sitting in church I talked to God and He took the burden off my shoulders.  It was like night and day the way I felt before and after church.  I may not have all the time in the world, but I do have some time.

Writing is my dream.  Dreams take time.  Dreams take work.  It's not just going to happen tomorrow.  I have to climb the mountain.  Like they say, Rome wasn't built in a day.  Overnight successes don't just happen.

So, I put myself out here.  I let you see me.  I bare my soul.

I can't just sit here and dream.  I have to do.  Finally, I am doing.

I just hope it's good enough.

Sunday Video: Jesus Freak by DC Talk

The song that introduced me to Christian contemporary/rock/radio, everything that wasn't just hymns and gospel.  There was this whole world out there I didn't know existed and it's huge!  I can't believe it's been almost 20 years since it's release.



Every Sunday I will be posting a Christian music video.  If you have a video you'd like me to post contact either through this blog through my email.

Little Girl

I'm working on my next big project.  Right now I'm not really sure what that is.  I know it's with a character, a girl who has no friends.  There's more to it that I don't want to say until the first story comes out, but I think it's good.  I'm thinking it's going to be maybe middle grades oriented or something.  We'll see.  I don't have a plot but I have a character and I'm working with her to see what stories come up.  It's a starting point and I need that.  I haven't had anything in a while.  I was waiting for my muse to hit, for inspiration, and it wasn't going to.  It was waiting for me.  I need to take charge and do something.  So, I'm doing something with this little girl.

The little girl has no name yet.  I hope she tells it to me soon.  I want to be able to fall in love with her so I can spend time daydreaming and imagining.  That's where my best ideas come from.  I think that's one thing that's really hindered me in my fiction writing lately.  I haven't had anything to fall in love with so my creative wheels haven't been spending.  I hope this little girl gets them spinning.

Wish me luck for I hope to do great things with her.

Starting Over

I'm starting over.

I started this blog with no intentions and then it quickly became a book review blog.  Fun at first, it became a hassle.  I hated finishing books because I had to write reviews.  Review writing became a chore.  I love to write and I love to read but I don't like to write about what I've just read, I guess.  I don't know.

What I do know is I love to write and so I'm restarting this blog with the intentions of writing.  I'll write my thoughts.  I'll write about writing.  I'll write.  I like to write.  I do like to write.  Have I said that enough?  I'm not sure.  I like to write.

I have also decided I want to get into freelancing.  I have no experience so it's going to be hard to get into the business, but we all have to start somewhere.  Actually, I do have a little bit of experience.  A few years ago I edited a manual for my uncle's XtreamService program. I didn't write the manual.  I just edited.  It needed a lot of work.  Editing that manual made me realize what I take for granted.  Grammar is my thing.  It comes easy to me.  I'm not perfect so I will make mistakes, of course.  The average person is not so great at grammar.  The writer of that manual often could not construct a complete sentence and I don't think she knew.  Because I'm good at it, I think others are, too.  Others are, but not everyone.

Since I'm just starting out I don't know what to do, but I have been searching the internet.  I've got to look for jobs.  I signed up on odesk, but I feel like with no experience that's not going to get me very far in the beginning.  I have to start.  I can't be afraid.  I know it's going to be slow going but I have to perservere.  I can only do it if I do it.

What kind of freelancing do I want to do?  Almost anything that has to do with writing.  I'll write, I'll edit, I'll proofread, I'll review--well, within its limits.  We'll see how that goes.  I hope that I am able to provide people with the services they need as well as be able to make some money.

Here I go into the world.  I present myself to you.  If you need an editor, a proofreader, a writer, a beta reader, almost anything related to writing then don't hesitate to contact me.  I'm new, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. It just means I haven't done much to pad my resume.  I need that beginning.  I need those first jobs to get me going.  You can contact me via email at leah49@gmail.com.  We can discuss rates when we talk.

I hope to be having fun with you.